{Taking me with you}

As we neared NY I was talking to Morgan about whatever it was and I said the date…we both looked at one another, I repeated it and we both gasped, she had messed up and we in fact had an extra day together in NY versus what we thought would be only 1 night! Yay. One day makes a world of difference when you’re missing your other half.

I don’t remember what we did, it all is such a wonderful blur with her and her family. We did try to take the boat out which was a 2 hour drive one way only for it to sadly have mechanical problems. Not a complete loss though, we got to spend time together like 2 kids as we rode in the backseat of her parents SUV. They also stopped so I could see a wind-turbine up close! Wow, the sound they make is so soothing. What an amazing feeling to be standing in the shadow of something so wonderful.


                                                                                                                     horsing around while we should be helping launch the boat.


We both agreed that this time was hard. I didn’t enjoy saying good bye to her the first time why would this time be better? Our good byes get longer and longer and while she tried to leave early it was almost dark by the time she got in her car and was ready to head to Boston, which was a 4 hour drive. Before she left her son had to be a turd AGAIN and get loose and run as far as he could before she finally found him with the help of his sister! She loves being the one to sniff him out, you’ll never see a puppy more proud of herself, I swear she grins!

This time I cried only a little but felt the loss so horribly it was hard to pretend to be happy when I missed her so much. Over the next few days it wore off but of course we still missed one another. I would write her nightly emails since the cards are all done and she would call me in the morning on her way to work and smile into the phone at my groggy hello’s. I loved hearing about her day and about the woman she was staying with out there while doing her externship.

She made the drive to NY on the weekend, leaving work Friday and coming over just to turn around and leave Sunday late afternoon/early evening. One weekend she even drove here on Friday, picked me up and took me back with her just to drop me off Sunday. That was single-handedly  the best mini-weekend ever. What a blast.



{A blast in a bottle}

We decided to bring the dogs with us this go around to NY. We were home just a handful of days all together, not long enough for the cats to stop missing us, poor kids.

This time we would have even more junk seeing as how we had to load huge bags of dog food, cases of wet food and bags of treats as well as our belongings AND the dogs. We had to be very strategic in how we placed things, packing my hoop on the bottom, padding it and laying everything else over and around it, giving the dogs a comfy little nest to rest in as they slipped into their benadryl comas. If only it were fast acting…or acting at all!

Morgan surprised me with a new chocolate chip muffin from a local shop and we stopped for yummy cuban sandwiches before hitting the road for real. Well as real as we could seeing as how the car acts like a laxative for her one dog and we had to stop shortly after starting to let him go…then we were off…

Her male dog paces, pants and otherwise makes you nervous as hell when he’s in the car with you and her female just gets in the car, turns around, faces the corner or the backseat and doesn’t move or blink for the entire trip however long. We’re convinced she’s going inward and having a break down.

Check out her son though, not him, no inward nothing…just straight out in your face trying to get into the front seat despite there being almost no room for the humans!

His eyes in the last one kill me! He looks like he’s going insane…god knows we were. Morgan tried to create a barricade but he could of cared less and kept pushing through all the stuff and drooling all down our arms and panting in our ears, christ. What a long 2 days, haha.

We ended up smuggling them into a hotel and crashing for the night in some town in some state. It was a non-smoking room that smelled like smoke and the only hotel room I’ve ever been in that wasn’t carpeted.

We ended up stopping yet again at another Big Lots. You might ask what the obsession is, well we’re on the hunt for our favorite root beer and more importantly, the best drink to mix with spiced rum. One night out of desperation I mixed this root beer we had gotten a bottle of with my rum since I had no coke. My life has never been the same! We went back to our Big Lots and they had no regular left, only diet which is not the same. The regular is so yummy and vanilla. So any how, we stop at everyone we get within 5 miles of and man we hit it finally! In Mechanicsville, Virginia of all places. I had gone in for some stuff for Raigen and looked but saw no root beer. Well Morgan comes strolling in and vanishes, as I am walking out the door to go sit in the car I see her with a cart and a shit ton of our regular root beer! They had 2 separate spots for it and I missed one! YAY! We then had to stick them one by one in random spots in the car because we really had no room this go around. We ended up with bottles in the weirdest places.

And finally I got to hear Morgan yell at her son! I never thought I’d see the day, haha. It was at a gas station and as she opened the door he went bolting out into the parking lot causing her to have to chase him barefoot across the hot parking lot. He’s such a chump!

We made it through the backwoods of NY again but this time going in and in the dark…I was scared shitless as we threaded our way in and out and up and down these winding and pitching roads in the mountains, it was terrifiing in her car! I thought for sure we were going to get into an accident, not just that but one that causes us to explode on impact, they would just find pieces of all of this shit and bottle caps from the root beer all over the mountains.

We made it to her folks house…alive…just before midnight.

Randomness from the trip there:









Well I decided that since I had met Morgan’s dad, mom and step-father that it was only right for her to meet someone important in my life, my Grandmother. We penciled in time to go down to see her, after all it’s a 5 hour drive after doing 2 days, Christ. We rested for a day, loaded up the dogs and hit the road for her place. It was interesting to have Morgan in the space I was in when our paths first crossed. She had seen a lot via skype and same for me with her space, but to be in it together blows me away. She pictured things much bigger, hehehe.

Grandma and Mo got along so very well, I knew they would. Grandma liked her from day one over skype and the phone and meeting in person was no different. They seemed like old buddies, notice a theme?! My autistic uncle also warmed up nicely, Morgan really took to him and like me, got him out of his shell a bit. We all 3 hit some local thrift shops and took Mo to one of my favorite eateries in town. John Smith Subs…if you’re going to eat shit, eat good shit.

Our time together went by too fast for sure. I miss her. As we all hugged goodbye she grabbed Morgan, hugged her tight and long and let her go. As Morgan and I pulled out of the driveway Morgan told me that as my Grandmother embraced her she whispered “Thank you for making her happy” …. it took my breath away and still sends me soaring. I love her so very much. If my Grandmother is happy with my choices in life and those I choose to share my life with then what more can I ask for?

It was going to be an interesting few days after that…Morgan was going to drop me off at my ex’s so I could pack the rest of my things and she was to go visit her Dad and sister down south from there. I hated going back there…I hated her leaving me there…I hated it all…I contemplated just leaving all my stuff behind, I mean after all, at some point in my life I want to live simply, right? Ugh.

I packed and packed and packed and dealt with the petty drama that is a bitter ex and before I knew it I was driving the biggest vehicle I had ever driven and loading it to the gills with my things…then she came and we loaded my cats and hit the road for the long drive home, finally.But before…we hit my last cache in that town…Morgan found it, I was so darn proud of her!!

It rained almost the entire way but I didn’t mind. I had rented a truck in my own name and had it full of my things and was headed up to my house where I was living my life, who gives a shit if it were raining, the place could of been on fire and I still would not of been able to stop smiling. Morgan was so proud, her face was priceless…god I love her being proud of me. *sigh* We got home very late and just unloaded the cats and left a lot of stuff in the truck for the next day. Which we got another late start on thanks to now having to pick up HER car 2.5 hours away! By the time we got back it was uber late but we had over half of a truck to unload…in the dark…in the rain, all alone. Ya know what? We did it! We unloaded it for hours, returned the truck and fell asleep tangled in one another…the love in that room was incredible.

I finally had my cats, my entire family was now in the house and we were merging big time. My 3 fatties and her gaggle of furred kids…my 3 were pissed off, still are! I hope one day her kids will teach mine a little something about loosening up, I’m learning that lesson from her so maybe we can learn together!

Our little house is so jammed to the gills it’s hard to move around, I keep panicking about being on an episode of hoarders if anyone were to come in and not know the story, god I hate clutter! As I write this I am still out of town (August 2nd) so the house is still a bit rough around the edges to put it politely, can’t wait to dive head first into it in a week!

{And we’re off!}

We had a little over a week in NY and what a great way to spend time after being a part for so long. We for sure made use of our time. We laughed, stuffed ourselves with homemade goodness, got to see some sights, did my first out of state cache and just love one another and the family. I couldn’t of asked for a better week. Hell they even provided whips and a sturdy bed, oh la la!

                                                                                                                                        uhhh….I was excited to be with her again…

We just were…that’s all. Just happily existed in this space that was so welcoming of us and our love. Her parents love both of us very much, both together and individually and I love how much they encourage her and I’s relationship. She is so blessed to have them and I am so blessed the Universe lined up our paths so I can call them family as well. As sad as it was to pack up to leave it was also exciting…this was Morgan and I’s first road trip *gasp!* and we were headed back home, together! *double gasp!* It had been a month since she had seen the cats and pups and they all missed her so very much. I had also busted butt in our house and couldn’t wait for her to check it out! So we packed up her little hatchback and hit the road. Not before stopping at a local diner for breakfast where I had a great BLT  and not so great coffee. (What? We’re coffee snobs.)

OI! Did I mention the wedding? NO!? Not ours you fools, another couples. The 2nd stop after I got off the plan (the first being some lunch) was a wedding! We didn’t know anyone but found a bathroom and …. it was the first wedding I had attended as an adult and we sorta crashed it and had sex during it, I love that memory. On to the point!

It was drizzling when we started our journey south and we could of cared less. We laughed and loved our way through the backwoods of NY, getting a glimpse at some of the cutest homes and some of the best farms and barns, I love that area. It was a very scenic route compared to how we came into the city.  The next 2 days were interesting. Her and I stopped at almost every Big Lots from NY to FL and a couple Goodwills…can you believe Morgan managed to jam a huge bookshelf into the car on top of our stuff? I wish I had gotten a picture, honest to god it looked like we had no room left and next thing you know we’re moving our seats forward and finagling this wooden shelving unit into the car. We also tucked random trinkets in here and there and took our sweet time getting home.

We stopped half way and got a room for the night. It was a great hotel with a Mexican restaraunt attached to it…the food sucked and apparently we were the only lesbians this family had ever seen. I embarassed Morgan by grabbing her and forcing myself on her. I dunno who was more surprised, her or the rubber-necking table.

The lovin was great in that hotel….

We went down for breakfast at a local place and enjoyed some coffee while we looked up a bunch of stuff needed for her externship and my move on her laptop. It was nice sitting and sipping together like old times. We then hit a local cache and got back on the road 🙂 The rest of the trip was pretty much the same, random stops, lots of laughs a waffle house…typical road trip crap. I had never eaten at a waffle house (I know, how un-hillbilly of me) and ended up getting another BLT and a chocolate chip waffle, yum! Coffee sucked! :/

We ended up pulling into our driveway at about 6am…god we were dead tired. We went to bed quickly and woke up around 10-11…after all, we had to drive another 2.5 hours south to pick up my car at the storage facility!

Found this little guy outside of a gas station just outside of the FL line. He was HUGE.

{Just put me on a plan}

School had been very full for Morgan this last year. By the time we met and our lives merged into one beautiful thing she was at the end of her year and beyond busy. We worked really hard to fit time in here and there, often times just being next to one another at coffee shops for hours at a time as she crammed. Anything was better then nothing.

I personally came to love the mornings for once in my life. This was a time where she would make her delicious coffee and have a warm cup waiting for me on the edge of the sink, then we would turn the radio on and get into the warm shower where we would just be in one another’s space, bonding in every little way we could. She would dance like a goof and make me laugh…something I am still not used to doing first thing in the morning! I also love how she casually lathers her hands with yummy essential oil based soaps and starts washing my body with out me asking or her telling. She pampers me so naturally it’s intoxicating and addictive. I love her washing my hair or guiding me into a sit so she can kneel and wash my feet as I stare adoringly at her. Man…I have a keeper.

Any how..wow I got lost in our shower memories and forgot what the point of this post was!

The first half of summer gave us no relief from her packed schedule, she had to leave and go from Florida to NJ for an externship which had her away for over a month. It was very rough. We both were in desperate need of one another’s love and time and then she had to leave for a bit. I was to stay back at home, which I had only recently partially moved into, during the time she was gone I would have our daughter for almost the entire time and still trying to navigate the custody journey, the new town thing and so on. It was a rough month to say the least. Add to it the fact I met possibly the rudest Dr on the face of the earth and it was peppered with a break down or 50 here and there. Any how, we survived and I was given the amazing opportunity to come up north the day after her last day and be with her at her parents house for a week before we made the drive back home together.

Lets pick up that story shall we?

I have a very severe social anxiety issue, like other health issues I downplay it and try to manage it myself, all while dialing down how I really feel when I have to explain it to people. I have such a hard time with it it honestly has kept me from doing a lot of things in my life that I wanted to do.

Well…her step father and mother offered to fly me up to their home which is where she would be heading for a few days after her externship was over. I could not believe this random act of kindness! Things like that don’t happen to me, I don’t get offered a hand or a gift often at all so it came as a huge surprise. We had been building a relationship (her parents and I) from almost the start of Mo and I’s relationship so we were very comfortable with one another by this point yet still it was out of left field. I took them up on the offer, hesitantly seeing as how I am not used to being given things and swallowed down the fact that I would be flying as an adult for the first time…and alone.

The month slipped by not fast enough cards and letters were exchanged. I purchased one for everyday she would be gone yet thanks to the USPS being as awesome as hell it was derailed and I had to give her majority of the cards by hand all together. I got some epic ones from her though! One was written on paper that was almost as big as our 6 year old, ha. 

Then one day I found myself with just one more sleep until I was to get up, drive 2.5 hours to the parking lot and shuttle to the airport to fly for 3 hours north. GASP! It was June 18th, which was ironically the day I was married. Little did I know that that date was what it was finally meant to be. A day where a new start took place, a merge and rebirth, a life of happiness and bliss and blessings too many to count.

Any who… I slept about 3 hours, got up before the sun, primped beyond belief, grabbed coffee and sped out of town. The parking company I had decided to use ended up being crap and I had no choice but to park at the airport for 3 times the price, ack, but oh well…I was on the phone with my girl and feeling soooooo excited! I parked, grabbed my stuff, took the little bus to the airport and navigated it for the first time all by myself thanks to Morgan’s step by step directions. Then it was time to fly. I got a window seat and smiled all the way up the east coast until it was landing time…at that point I felt as if I would puke.

Not only was I seeing my girl for the first time in over a month but I was also meeting her step-father and mom which I had spoken to so much yet never got to meet in person yet. Sadly I was just about the last person off the plane and I had to pee so it took me a ridiculous amount of time to get to em AND my phone died as I got into the bathroom so no text messages were exchanged, leaving us all to  nervously wait for one another.

And finally…I rounded the corner and the most beautiful woman in the entire world literally jumped into my arms. That hug was so very similar to our first embrace. Long, tight and just brimming with happiness. Then came a love like no other, a parent’s love for their new adopted daughter (ha) which I still am so blessed to have. I hugged her mom first and instantly fell in love with her, what an amazing lady…now I know where Morgan gets it from. And her step father, which long ago was coined my “BFFAE” (Best friend forever and ever) because Morgan and her mom used to yell at us both for how much we would text one another, one day Morgan jeered “Who ya talking to, your BFF?” I shot back “NO, my BFFAE!” just to ruffle her feathers some more. hehe. We all hit it off in person perfectly, it was very natural and fluid just like Mo and I had been from the start, old friends from long ago simply picking up where we left off.

I lost a ring Morgan and I had a matching pair of, it read “Om Namah Shivaya” but written out as ” ॐ नमः शिवाय” across a silver ban. Loosely it s means I bow to Shiva, Shiva being our true inner-self. It’s said that this is such a powerful mantra that if done properly, allowing it to vibrate within your heart, you’ll have no need for meditation, yoga etc. I need to practice more…

Any how, enough of that!

What about her? Ugh *squirms* She is the cutest boi. No really, check out what I got to sit next to on the way from the airport AND sleep with?! WHAT?!

We got to spend about a week in upstate New York at her parent’s place. What a great town. It took awhile for it to dawn on me that I was out of state…okay, it didn’t really fully hit me until just about a couple days ago…alright, it still hasn’t fully hit me that I’ve been out of state for about  almost a month all together, or that I’ve flown 3 times within this time.

Her parents town is this wonderful little shoe-box town seemingly wedged into the mountains and accented with waterfalls and eclectic architecture, it’s one of the most historical towns in the United States. It also houses oreo cows, wind farms, an amish community, the largest amount of graveyards I’ve ever seen, amazingly breathtaking views AND for a short time, the girl of my dreams 🙂

Here are a few shots I took that first week before her and I drove home for a week.

                                     We perched ourselves atop the closest waterfall just off of her parents backyard and had our morning coffee the first morning there.

       We hiked just after our coffee was finished. We ended up just wandering for over an hour until we found ourselves at the base of the largest waterfall on the path. She was             beautiful. Little did we know we took the hard way and there was actually a very easy way…

                                                                        She quickly stripped nekkid and jumped in. we learned there is a horribly easy (read: a 6 year old can do it) way to                                                                                                                                                            the fall….we learned this after we sextered at the base… *facepalm*

Nothing compares to that moment though. Talk about intense….gosh she’s the right person for me.

                                                                                                                        What happens when you don’t see one another for awhile

it was totally worth it…plus she’s hot with bruises *le blush*

I’m forgetting to include all sorts of random stuff that made the trip great, I know that. This is the problem I face with late uploads. I am trying my hardest to get shit caught up. Here I am talking about June 18th and it’s August 1st…holy hell.

[the little things]

It’s often those little things that get overlooked yet all together…those tiny little things do so very much for all of us.

I remember upon first meeting Mo that her details were so wonderful. All those tiny little trinkets, glances, stances, accents, faces, accessories and over all mannerisms that made up Mo…took me, grabbed me and I still can’t shake em…as if I try!

It’s those little things that I love so much in life. I love random acts of kindness, tender unexpected moments, funny stories that spring from thin air and just the feelings you get from simplicity combined with thoughtfulness. I like rushing around to get something done be it shopping, dinner prep, house work and so on and being able to pause for a moment, embrace in a quick kiss that slowly unfolds into this intimate little moment amongst all the hustle and bustle around us. How the world will simply peel away and all there is left is us, the sounds of our love, the feelings between us, complete beauty and passion so intense it’s almost tangible.

These little things don’t have to be physical, often times they’re simple notes tucked away to be found later, little random goofy “dances” in public to amuse the other, spontaneous off-key singing combined with a dorky facial expression that ignites hystarics between our family. It’s these impromptu little things that make me love this family so very much. I am blessed to be part of this pack of awesome-ness. I feel pretty darn boring compared to my company, I’ll tell ya that!

I found myself today just a bit ago thinking about some of the little moments we’ve shared over the last few months and how truly amazing this time has been…I can’t remember the last time I smiled during hard times and felt this complete while going through so very much at the same time…this is the life I was meant to have. This is the love I meant to know, this is the path I am supposed to be on and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. Gone are the days of just drifting through my days, gone are those feelings of life slipping away, of living in this haze and feeling hollow. I can’t thank my family enough for all they’ve done for my soul.

I recently emailed Morgan this:

“I love you to jagged pieces my love. Every day I love you more, every time you speak I fall harder for you, every sweet, dirty, romantic, casual word, look, action…everything has me being further cemented in this with you…I couldn’t be happier. Our life is amazing and will continue to be so…we deserve nothing short of brilliant.”

And here are a few of my favorite little moments from the last few months, big enough to remember and photograph, not exactly big enough to blog about and help you drift further into sleep…if you’re not already there!

      {Morgan & her son, Austin. Their love is beautiful and how pet and owner love should be}

{The first night I stayed over she made fresh collards which she sauteed with onion, bragg’s, almonds etc. The next morning I worked them into some fresh eggs, oven browned a slice of her moms homemade bread, slapped on some vegan butter, drizzled some local honey over that and had a wonderful little breakfast while she was at school}

           {I woke up one morning after Morgan had gone to school and found this set out on the stove for me. All the fixins for a great bowl of oatmeal and perfect cup of coffee}

                {This was Raigen and Morgans very first hug. When Morgan came home Raigen raced outside and into her arms like they were long lost friends.}

     {Raigen and Morgan made homemade pizza together the second night we were together as a family}

       {Morgan got Raigen a Venus flytrap which made her life! Our kitty, Parker Jones LOVES catching bugs for it}

 {This is one of my favorite shots of Morgan and Raigen. Morgan surprised us and took us to see the bats that night. This was just before the sun went down and thousands                                                                                                                                       came pouring out of their homes back there}

   {Worlds best sushi made fresh by the worlds best girlfriend}

{Raigen and I upcycled her old uniform shirt from last year, we deemed it appropriate to tie-dye it seeing as how it was an art school. We had enough left over dye and a set of ratty sheets to then upcycle them!}

      {Our beautiful girl}

{Cat Naps…I love her foot}

These are just a few of the magical moments I’ve captured over the last few months, hope ya enjoy em :]

[All of it]

I think I am so far behind on uploading I might have to skip a lot…what do you think? There is so much of our story that hasn’t been shared yet but in order to do so I am getting backlogged on things going on now…hmmm.

I should do a quick rundown!

After we met…we were apart for about a week before I came to visit her and stay the weekend at her place…a week later I was back again, a week later, again…then she asked me to move in and I never really left.

Her and the chick-a-dee met…sparks and love and happiness…they are 2 of my favorite girls. Morgan was so cute…she worked for a few days on setting up the guest room for chick-a-dee, seeing her nest was so cute…it was well received. Those two get one another. They’re both kids for sure!

The above shots I took on Mothers Day. Morgan worked hard to insure I had a proper Mothers Day this year. I had spent every mothers day since becoming a mom alone with the kiddo…while she is the reason I can even celebrate that day it was hard not having anyone else to celebrate it with. I would typically spend the day either in our town with her and making the best of it or out of town at the Grandmother’s trying to make their Mothers Day the best for them. Finally it was my day AND Morgan’s first moms day! Morgan planned all sorts of great things for the day, we ate at our favorite restaurant, went to a state park and got to explore a huge sink-hole filled with life, she taught me to drive stick (!!) went and had ice-cream at a favorite local ice-cream shop and simply loved one another to pieces. It was a beautiful day with the most beautiful girls in the world.

Can we fast forward now?

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